THE BONDING OF WOMEN

THE BONDING OF WOMEN.

Women take heed. We need each other

The bonding of companionship during childhood with girlfriends is having a new kind of resurgence with the help of web sites, news about successful women entrepreneurs, new statistics siting that more women are graduating college in the United States than men, afternoon girl gatherings from luncheons to coffee catch-ups, volunteering for needy causes to sex toy parties where women revel in laughter and acceptance!

Men are great company and will always be but with our language barrier and brain synthesizer working from opposite sides of the Universe, women are turning more to the friendships and support of other females who can speak the same lingo and connect.

Women are uniquely invested in making things work; our DNA is spirit inherited with the nurturing gene and we can build a trust with each other based on being able to relate physiologically. Also at the core of women's friendships are the experiences that we in unison can relate on a level that is uniquely ours and ours alone. It builds a bridge of not only empowering ourselves but other women. Together we find ways to legitimize/validate our feelings and experiences.

“A problematic issue women have with other women is that women can and do internalize patriarchal messages that women are not as strong, competent, and capable as men. This is referred to as internalized sexism” according to Mikaela Kiner, a CEO, author, executive coach and founder of Reverb, helping companies create healthy, inclusive cultures. Some of her findings have been that “Women unconsciously absorb beliefs about their rightful place, and those messages show up in how women judge each other. That can lead women to mistreat, underestimate, and distance themselves from other women in order to increase their power and standing among men.”

Ruthellen Josselson, Ph.D., co-author of Best Friends: The Pleasures and Perils of Girls' and Women's Friendships (Three Rivers Press, 1998) shares the following: "Every time we get overly busy with work and family, the first thing we do is let go of friendships with other women.  We push them right to the back burner. That's really a mistake because women are such a source of strength to each other. We nurture one another. And we need to have unpressured space in which we can do the special kind of talk that women do when they're with other women. It's a very healing experience."

So, we have work to do on this in order to redefine the way we show up for each other.

And here is a little difference in how women can balance their inner selves vs how men are attuned to a different path. “A study at UCLA suggests that women respond to stress by the release of oxytocin which when released buffers the fight and flight urges and encourages women to gather with children and other women which in turn produces a calming effect. Men on the other hand have to deal with the release of testosterone which dilutes their oxytocin therefore doesn't do much to buffer their fight and flight. As women bond with each other men go off on their own which does nothing to deaden the stress…ergo women live longer and statistically will continue to live longer than men with this being a big influence on their mortality.”

Women bonding with women shape us and who we become by soothing tumultuous inner conflict, filling a gap in the ways and woes of married life and most importantly at the end of the day, help us to remember who we are.

The Dali Lama said because of our nurturing gene we not only need to acknowledge and respect this wonderful God-given gift but because the of our changing times it is crucial we share this gift along with the world as new leaders. With our feminine wiles, wisdom, and our counterpart Mother Earth it is the time, Right NOW, to commit to foster this energy not only heal this beautiful planet of ours but to open up the enormous possibilities that await the unity of women with women as well as women with men.

LADIES: Our job is big but certainly not impossible.  We showed our prowess and unity among men 4,000 plus years ago. Our job is mighty and so very important for our future so we must practice being honest and aligned with the female population and with the right amount of respect, admiration, support and encouragement we can and we will make a difference in the world.

To your best and brilliant Self living on purpose daily,

P.S. Jude Luttrell coaches with full-on wisdom and enthusiasm.  She is an ordained minister, a Graduate of the University of Santa Monica with certifications in Consciousness, Health and Healing, Spiritual Psychology, and Soul Centered Life Coaching, a 50 year meditator of TM and Mindfulness, an Author of the book "Over 40 Fit and Fab.  An Empowering Guide Designed to Assist Women in Fulfilling their Fullest Physical, Mental and Spiritual Potential" and a Breast Cancer Survivor.

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