My Solomon and Me
In the Bible God said to Solomon, “Because this was in your heart and you have not asked for riches, wealth or honor nor the life of you enemies, neither yet have asked long life but have asked wisdom and knowledge for yourself then you may judge my people over whom I have made you king.”
So, that’s mighty cool and some big shoes to fill when asked, what’s your name mean?
My housekeeper sometimes brings her son Solomon with her to help out. He is in his early 20’s and though he has been directing his energy in school to become either a policeperson or manager of some sorts he feels lost.
The other day he asked me what was it that he had to do to get girls to go out with him? He went on to say that girls in Los Angeles only want a guy with a lot of money and proceeded with the typical diatribe about how shallow girls his age are and that they only think of being taken care of etc.
Well, welcome to LA!
As a coach who is always asking questions to get to the heart of a situation I asked permission to get a little deeper into the heart of his the matter which he happily accepted.
Many questions later he asked where/how to start. Suggestions came with resistance…we humans want what we want when we want it and we want it now. But to work on it/work on me? Words like ‘hard, can’t don’t, but, should” come rolling out like a stroll on the red carpet.
It’s always seems to be an easy but is in the long run, habitually ineffectual behavior using our head to go on a rant for the ego when you are in a place of feeling disconcerted and lost, isn’t it? It certainly can take you out of the place, your heart, where you need to be in order to springboard from a clear authentic foundation.
Okay, what do you think is this young man’s deeper issue was? Self-esteem? Worthiness?
No car, no money, no home of his own living in an apartment with his mother. Naw, I don’t think he’s quite ready for the dating scene yet, however I give him scads of credit for asking for help.
So, after a good 15 minutes we had him at a place where tears flowed down his cheeks, shoulders softened and he said that what he really wanted was to feel useful and productive. And when I told him how proud I was for coming to that conclusion all on his own with his commitment to listen and learn his whole body-Self perked up.
He said he felt so lost and scattered and couldn’t get the focus he needed to know where to start on this journey and what steps he wanted to create to move up and forward. The fact is that he didn’t even know that getting focused was an option!
In our country right now and world at large the cry I am hearing is for collective consciousness. And then from here I believe we need to create collaborative consciousness, meaning that once we conceptualize the former, we must come together by stepping into the circle of life together. From there we work outwards, consciously healing ourselves collaboratively.
Think about this…everything may have a message hidden inside and because we live in a very Live earth plain where energy is prevalent in order to sustain existence, what message do you think we must wrap our heads around before the planet will allow us to continue to move on living with “her” cohesively?
Back to Solomon. When I suggested he take some quiet time and write down all the things he loves about himself at a deeper level he balked. His response was, of course, “I don’t know who I am” whereby I asked “Have you ever asked?” to which he said…
Next, I asked him to list all the things in life that made him happy and not attach them to anything but that they make him happy. And so forth.
Well, it took him a week or more to do this ‘assignment’ but he said he kept hearing my voice in his head about purpose, consciousness and responsibility and was resolved to knowing he trusted me enough to try these exercises out.
Just two weeks ago when his mom came to house clean she showed up with a big smile and a thank you hug from Solomon because he got a job!
Even in the pandemic he stepped out of his handicapped comfort zone and took his life seriously with getting a job to be his priority. He told his mom to tell me that although he feels he didn’t do a good job with his list…yes, a teeny bit of self-judgment…that he did it the best way he could…yay… and kept peeking at it every couple of days, tweaking and adding and removing what didn’t feel aligned with his heart.
In closing, it was a collaboration of consciousness and out of this came a job, a new perspective, new tools to use going forward, a surge in self-esteem, and pride.
Here are some tips for you to ponder with any challenging, unfocused time.
· Learn to listen to your heart. What brings you joy and inner peace.
· Pay attention to habits and behaviors that are out of style and think about person you have always wanted to be.
· Get focused/ask a professional for help/find a mentor
· What makes you happiest?
· Don’t give up before you even start. Practice makes ‘perfect’ and like starting a new business it takes time, effort, commitment, persistence, drive and creativity and the voice inside that says
· Contact me, your Los Angeles life coach for women, to help in your newest adventure!!
Until next time! Sending much love!
To your brilliance unfolding,
