Not tomorrow but right now
As long back as I can remember I never had a specific goal in mind as to what I wanted to “be” when I grew up. However, it didn’t stop me from constantly searching for something/anything that spoke to me. In other words I had no real passion that was gnawing to get out but there was still an itch to scratch.
In my last blog I wrote about wanting to be model and dreaming of that kind of life but up until getting an agent and then being reluctant in going out on interviews I never was able to hit a home run because something was missing.
Most of my life has been spent in my head and not being of the understanding in allowing myself to take the time to relax and to “Be in the present moment, or the “here and now,” aware and mindful and not being distracted by ruminations on the past or worries about the future; the point between past and future.”
My mind operated very much like my mom’s which was always was going miles an hour and I had to have every day planned. Controlling my environment was key but when those plans went amuck, I would go into super disappointment mode.
When I was a flight attendant, we would have celebrities onboard and this one time as I was working first class it was Bob Hope. What a lovely man he was and during a short layover before going to our destination I got the opportunity to sit down and talk with him.
Somehow the conversation came around to him asking what I did on my days off. I don’t remember what I said other than the word “bored” came out of my mouth and I saw his eyes light up and his body language changed. As he scooted up in his seat and faced in my direction he got on my case and spoke about how beautiful life is, that opportunities in life are bountiful, and basically said ‘shame on me’ for entertaining the idea of boredom. He made me promise that I would never refer to that word again when it came to doing my life and to take advantage of my future and the excitement that awaits me.
Sometimes it takes nothing more than a short conversation where something will be said that hits home and this one did. Since that day I have never said that I was ever bored. Ever. And because I never said it again, I never have been.
Since the beginning of this pandemic I have been pontificating about the opportunity we have had to be silent and explore our next chapter. While not waiting until we all pick up our get out of jail free card, the opportunity to ask questions like the following can give you a great start in the exploration of you.
“Am I a happy person? What will it take to be in that place? Is the way I am approaching my every morning on behalf of my more joyful self? Do I take advantage of what looking at the glass half full vs half empty? Is my behavior bringing me excitement and childlike wonder every day? Who do I want to really be? Am I always waiting for something to happen to me vs me happening to it? Am I waiting to be happy/to make that move/to enjoy my life instead of learning to be ‘the happy’ no matter what? Why can’t I move on and stop worrying?”
There is no time but the present. You’ve heard that but I ask you to let that sink in. The Power of Now by Eckart Towle talks about how you can get past confusion and overthinking in life; that every minute you spend worrying about the future or regretting the past is a minute lost, because really all you have to live in is the present, the now.
And in the play Waiting for Godot the characters decide to pay heed to a child’s passing comment meant specifically for them, that Godot will be coming to help them see the light. So, even without knowing who Godot is, the two main characters continue to wait for him, though they cannot really determine the benefits or rewards of doing so. Godot represents their vague sense that their lives will eventually have promise or some type of meaning or conclusion, though it's unclear when this promise or conclusion will arrive, if ever. Godot constantly promises to arrive but never actually does.
To decide what you want and then sit there and wait for it to appear or in the case of Godot, wait for this existential character to show up and lead the way doesn’t teach you anything other than you know how to feel frozen.
You must make it happen.
This may appear like a double edge sword when you get to this place of being in charge and allowing the flow but at the same time wanting someone to tell you that without doing the ‘work’ you are going to be standing still.
The trick, as you may, in accomplishing this, is to feel confident and surrender to the fact that you are doing your best to make things happen and at the end will have no regrets; trusting that everything will turn and allowing surprises that await you.
Remember all the times you have felt that you have been put through the ringer only to look back and see that you are stronger and more resilient than when you started out. It happens all the time.
Today my life flows more effortlessly without so fervently attaching myself to the outcome. You’ve heard the expression that it isn’t about the destination but the journey and as I still like to make plans, if what I look forward to falls apart, I take that as a sign that something else was suppose to take place or maybe I am just to be still.
And yes, I certainly go off course and get out of balance. I slip and entertain half truths and momentarily forget the tools I need to stay balanced. But I find that small open crack in the window to which I rest and remember that with a little bit of realignment of my thoughts I can simply push that window wide open allowing me to set out once again on my adventure to my goal while no longer waiting for Godot.
To your brilliance unfolding,
P.S. By the way, many of you still haven’t signed up for my complimentary FREE BREAKTHROUGH session and I am waiting to hear from you. No issue too small and all are welcome.
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