Controlling? Guidelines to deal with it
I have felt the need to control my life since I was 8 years old. At least that’s how far back I traced its origination. You see my parents argued a lot and one night I found my mom crying…very, very deep crying. As I held her tightly, I could not bear her pain so what does every 8-year-old do when she feels such compassion and wants to make things ‘right?’ She states most emphatically that she and she alone will take the responsibility to protect her mother so that her mom will never feel sad ever again! Whoa!
Skipping over many of life’s experiences as a youngster and going right to being a grown up with no prior experience was probably a shock to my system and had, in some way, become my safe space.
It is normal to want to know that we have control over something. It can feel as if by giving up part of that piece of oneself will in some way cause our world to crumble; use up any excess energy that could be utilized on behalf of our higher self and even expose us as the failures that we may secretly perceive ourselves to be. Big stuff, huh?
But I have come to realize through years of determination that leaping off the ledge into surrender mode rarely results in a painful fall. The pain is preconceived, and the actual fall is quite effortless once we set the intention to take a leap of faith. Lastly it can be a very effective and empowering move!
Along the way of creating anew there will be times when we don’t like the scenery where we have landed after we just learned about being leaping with bravery, however by giving pause and breathing into hearts we often find new and unexpected opportunities and possibilities just waiting to be seen, heard and practiced.
One result of bravery would be if we learn how to recognize how to carry faith, willingness to surrender, freedom to choose and optimism in our psyche. It is here we can begin to see more and more of those qualities reflected back to us from people with whom we interact and non-tangible scenarios miraculously appear…do I hear a “Cool.”
Beware if we don’t get immediate positive reinforcement of the changes that are swirling around. Be patient, practicing letting go once again of controlling our environment allows us to be accessible, approachable and intimately aware of what we are thinking/feeling from our premier place of knowing…within.
So if you choose to make changes to your growth and well-being going forward it’s going to be an easier leap not trying to control your environment but to learn to allow a steady rise in evolving into the person you have always wanted to be.
Looking for answers in how to control-control from the outside world can be contradictory as you will always be getting someone else’s view and this will inevitably throw you off your game. Learning how to be attuned to your authentic self, the real you without judgment and not to use egoic control as the primary tool for healing, does lift your energetic load.
I still work on keeping my finger on the pulse in how to navigate calmer waters when my ‘need’ to control comes up inside. I try so hard to help because I really care about the person or people around me at the time but I have learned that by assessing whether I am working to assimilate my personal agenda or if it’s necessary to help control the environment is an important tool…proceed with caution for self and others.
By letting go of things that have once been of service but are no more takes practice and determination and an intention to let freedom reign. With freedom comes empowerment and with empowerment comes physical, mental and spiritual overall health and fulfillment. Thus with a healthy mind, body and soul comes happier times, more loving relationships, forgiveness of self and others, focus, vibrancy, and excitement…a cornucopia of goodness.
Use the following for helpful guidelines:
· Pause when emotional triggers come up
· Find a health outlet and bathe in it
· Look at the bigger picture
· Pay attention to limited beliefs and reframe what is true
· Fear not. You will not implode when you do this most important work in order to start unfolding the more wonderful you
To your brilliance unfolding,
