Clear Perceptions are the Key to Healthy Healing

“How you perceive the issue is the issue” taught by Drs. Ron and Mary of USM. As I was a new student and anxious to learn everything right at that moment in time I also made a lot of assumptions along the way. I heard what they said, I tried to ingest what they meant. We talked about it in trios during school and yet in my secret world that I have carried since grades 1 thru 12 I kept a lot to myself about not understanding a damn thing of what this meant.

Until just a bit ago.

I knew it had teeth and when I would use it as an example of something I would be sharing with someone I must have had such conviction in my tone of voice like I really knew what I was talking about that the person(s) would also agree though I believe their grade school selves may have surfaced too.

But I suppose it was like perfecting a dance step, a musical note, crafting a vase on a potter’s wheel when I used the scenario enough it’s perfected finally rose to the top.

Bottom line like absolutely everything in our life…absolutely every thought, action, word spoken, inter-action, conversation with Self and others…any scenario in life comes down to how we as individuals feel about it; what is the feeling that bubbles up inside of us from that experience and then how is that feeling landing inside? Are we good with it and nothing else needs our attention or is the feeling one that is old and damaged or tender; one that brings forward hurt and causes us to react in a defensive way? If it brought us a happy feeling then it is rare that we hold on to that feeling to ponder the advantage of joy that it brought us as we humans like to dwell in drama.

The ISSUE isn’t about what was said but how and what we perceived it to mean. “A” feeling came up and it started a charge in us. It wasn’t just about putting emphasis in making the other person right/wrong/indifferent but it was about how we were choosing to make that specific feeling that is now sitting front and center hurting a place inside of us that is no one else’s responsibility to deal with other than our own.

In our world today/our country today which looks to me like a place that has me pinching myself to see if I really didn’t fall down the rabbit hole I have self-ignited a slew of uncomfortable feelings, many of which can cause me to feel even more division.

Feelings of sadness, disillusionment, disgust, hopelessness, bewilderment, anger, and to know that I am the only one that can and is responsible in asking the questions of these feelings; I must assess in order to find out where they originated and what do I do to arrest the discomfort going forward.

Here’s an example of what I’m talking about. You’re having a conversation with a boyfriend and he has just told you that you are not his person and haven’t been for some time. You ask for clarity and he gives it his best shot. He’s known for awhile but kept trying to find a fit. The relationship is done. Can’t talk someone into loving you.

So, what are you left with but super-charged feelings that make the longest list of hurtness in the universe. You are stunned, crushed, hurt, ashamed, dismayed, destroyed, feeling insignificant, angry…he’s stupid and unkind etc. and you want to scream and lash out and make him wrong.

But what’s the real dealio going on here? Your perception of the outcome and the residue of how you feel because of the outcome is your stuff to deal with and you really must. Coming from a place of feeling crappy is not how to handle the twists and turns that life in general show up daily.

Once the blindness of the ‘ouch’ starts to subside how can you look and feel about this self-imposed skulduggery in a way that will add clarity and a sense of peace within?

For one, this process of redefining can only be achieved by your willingness to change the structure of your perception-of-the-moment; a perception shift. A shift that will gradually disengage you from your deeply integrated insights of the past of how you think the outcome ‘should be’ and allow you room to see the incredibly powerful opportunity to expand your listening experiences when you come face to face with your feelings/truth.

1. Change the structure of your perception. You put it there so you’re in charge.

2. Take responsibility for your feelings after all they belong to you.

3. Reframe the scenario and the effects that it has on you and see what is really true.

4. Stay present. Your perception of the issue is front and center and doesn’t have anything to do with yesterday and what “may” happen tomorrow.

There is a lot of work ahead of us when it comes to evolving and growing up. What we have done and how we have acted in the past (and I could be talking about a moment ago when I refer to the past) are gone. Learning to look deeply at our actions, our thoughts, our behavior towards our own selves as well as others is a great big grown-up step in learning what it means to becoming awake (coming into existence or awareness).

‘Listen, learn, act upon and move forward right now’ is the message I’m hearing in the country. By recognizing that each of us is a part of the whole consciousness let’s heed to the words of Marianne Williamson in her speech Our Deepest Fears where it says, “Our playing it small doesn’t serve anyone. It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing it small does not serve anyone.”

Let’s get wiser, now.

Here’s to more of your brilliance unfolding,

P.S. I hope you are enjoying my blogs and if so please leave comments below and let me know if there is anything you would like for me to help you with along your journey. Your successes are my successes and being of service is what I love to do!